Log in

No account? Create an account
Sorry, I ate it. [entries|friends|calendar]
Charles Osworth

Site Meter

[ website | Coalescence - Handcrafted Jewelry ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[07 Nov 2009|05:35am]
[ mood | Amused. ]

Take it away, Rob!

*Rob begins*
Ahh, this tale has been stored away for quite some time! I think it deserves to be spread around the world, though. It has a message and meaning that all can benefit from. I am pleased that I have been asked to share this with you.

I once knew a frog who held the name Silas. During the stretch of time when our lives crossed, he was rather advanced in years. He was at the stage of life where one passes from being a master of his art to instead being a bestower of his knowledge. And Silas’ knowledge was unmatched in his time. No contemporaries or past legends had reached the levels of expertise Silas rested at. In fact, even to this day, none have been able to surpass him.

But all this talk of prestige and status does no good when we only remain in the abstract. Our story centers around the interaction between Silas and a fellow named Thanos. Thanos was a a very capable scorpion whose shell was a subdued yet striking shade of green. He had recently become Silas’ apprentice, and the training and mentoring process that usually spans years was proceeding at a highly accelerated rate. The dynamic and connection between these two kindred spirits was strong and very conducive to success.

Yet again, however, I find myself talking in the abstract. We have not yet mentioned what art this wealth of knowledge resides in. Silas’ craft was sledding. He became so proficient that it was no longer simply an enjoyable snowy activity, but a full-year and practical one as well. Sledding became a tool that he could mold and apply to just about any situation. I know this seems rather impossible and ludicrous, but strokes of pure genius almost always do - and his innovations in the uses of sledding were undoubtedly ingenious. They are too groundbreaking for me to effectively encapsulate in this tale...

Regardless, Silas was passing along the best of his knowledge and tricks to Thanos. And even though they were moving along at a blazingly fast pace, the process was still rather intense and draining. It’s quite a task to absorb the most advanced knowledge in the world! The path is filled with ups and downs, and by the end of his training, Thanos was really feeling the impact of it. He knew, however, that there was some pivotal task or moment to close out the training that was yet to come. Everyone knows that you always had a final task or session or experience that was so foundational to the ultimate value of your training that it almost singlehandedly holds your key to success. What exactly this final event is always differs, though. Every mentor creates their own training path, deciding what the best way to pass on their expertise is. And with a mentor like Silas, the final moment would have to be something completely groundbreaking.

I could traipse through the days leading up this closing experience, but I see no point in doing so. When the day arrived and Thanos woke up, he could feel it. He knew it was time. He headed to Silas’ abode, which we have not yet described, so we shall do now. Silas’ living space was strikingly reminiscent of Yoda’s cozy cavern in Return of the Jedi. The comparison is actually even more fitting considering the nature of Yoda’s relationship with Luke and its similarities to the relationship between Silas and Thanos. Yoda was an unrivaled master, and he passed on his wisdom to Luke. Isn’t that what’s happening here?

Let’s jump back into the action. When Thanos arrived at Silas’ home, he found him sitting at the kitchen table just like at the start of every other day. But today, instead of getting up from the table after breakfast, they continued to sit. Eventually, Silas directed the conversation to the nature of this day, to the impact and importance of this day. He told Thanos that his final event involved no test or feat, that nothing was required of him. There wasn’t even some type of unifying concept that he would have to grasp or comprehend.

Silas put his hand to his head, and, as one motions to remove a hat, he whisked his hair off into his hand. Thanos became the only living creature to learn that Silas was bald. Placing the wig in the center of the table, Silas explained...

“Every teacher chooses how they wish to pass on their knowledge. The experience of mentoring is completely theirs to shape. They decide what is important and what to focus on.

“Throughout our sessions, you have absorbed the results of some of the finest moments of my career. You are poised to, with time, break through the ceilings I reached. Your legend will surpass mine and all others we know of.

“But this does not inherently mean anything. You must not forget this. Even though you have all the skills and means to accomplish great things, there must be something that drives you, something that holds meaning to you. Otherwise, everything is empty. Hold onto what makes things shine for you. Hold close what makes things connect and seem worthwhile - what makes you able to survive and succeed. Never lose sight of these things.

“And this wig represents that lesson. I hope it will stay with you and consistently remind you of my words. I pass this onto you as the closer to our training. It is meant to represent the immeasurable value and incomprehensible necessity of keeping close to you what you find meaningful. Ground in your life what makes you happy and what makes living a beautiful experience. For without that, everything is nothing.”

Thank you, Rob! Always a pleasure to hear one of your stories. And the children seem to have enjoyed it immensely!

Take it to the vet.

[25 Sep 2008|02:11pm]
[ mood | Happy. ]

I often find myself getting frustrated and overwhelmed by all the pain in the world. Today I was on facebook, perusing the news feed, when I came across a group called "vegans and vegetarians against PETA." I decided to take a look at it. I browsed around, read both sides of the argument, and found myself quite angry. Neither side had won my agreement. I was angry with both of them. I was angry at both of them for missing the point. It should never be Humans vs. Animals. Doesn't anyone fucking get it? The point is to love and respect EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. And then I realized that I, too, was missing the point. I was missing the point by becoming angry. That isn't the answer. That only adds me to the numbers of people who are missing the point by being in a chain of pain. So I decided to go back to a feeling of love. Maybe I can't make them love and respect each other, but I can love and respect the people, creatures, things in my life. I realized that I don't have to take on the daunting task of trying to change the whole world. All I have to do is my little part here. Maybe I can't save every abused or neglected animal, but I treat my own with love and respect, and that isn't something to be overlooked. That caring changes the vibrations around me, around my furry friends, and THAT is what makes the difference. Love and positive energy is contagious. If I can focus on the positive things, that's how I can make a difference in myself and the world around me. Sitting there and hating the people in power, or the people that try to oppress me in my personal life, isn't going to help. I just join the chain of pain that way. I need to love. Love is powerful. I need to appreciate the good and focus on that, because that's how you improve your circumstances. People seem to have it in their heads that if they are unhappy, they must change their circumstances to change the way they feel, and that's just not how it works. You must first change the way you feel, and by doing that, your circumstances will start to improve. So yeah. That's my little personal triumph of the day.

Take it to the vet.

[19 Jul 2008|12:02am]
[ mood | Headachy but optimistic. ]

I never really noticed until just now how impressionable I am. I think that in some way it is intertwined with the way I sort of cycle through knowledge. Like, I will encounter/come up with some concept that rings true to me, and it's generally something extremely useful to me, and I'll incorporate that into my life for a little bit, and benefit from it, and then, POOF, I completely forget about it and go back to struggling. It'll be gone for a while, and then somehow I'll remember it or encounter it again, and it's like waking up. I knew this all along, but couldn't access it. And it would have helped me so much had I only been able to keep it fresh in my mind. This happens with so much information. It's frustrating. A simple solution would be to keep a small notepad with all of my useful tidbits written down in it. I could read it on a regular basis and keep myself joyous and content. The thing is, there are SO MANY that I wouldn't be able to fit them all in a notepad. Trying to keep them all in my consciousness would be a very daunting task. I just don't have the capacity to keep it all floating through my daily thought-stream. It's reminiscent of being a goldfish. My short term memory is not what I want it to be. I can't even write this entry the way I want to, due to the fact that I keep forgetting what my point is. Maybe it's just because I have a headache at the moment. But really, if I could just remember to relax, to take a deep breath when I'm overwhelmed, to keep in touch with who I really am, not all the things that I'm absorbing from my environment, I could do so much with my life. I know I'm capable of living the life I want, I just can't seem to remember the steps long enough to do it. There have been so many times where I've realized that I have infinite possibilities, that the only limits I have are self-imposed, and in those moments I feel so liberated and capable of doing anything I could dream of. In those moments I break through my self-imposed limits and the love that I am shines outward. And then I have the inevitable amnesia and everything goes to shit again, I resume fearing everything. I stop living and start reflecting, amplifying, that which is around me. It's interesting, that's exactly what happens. Things that really don't matter to me at all become worries, because these worries had surrounded me. And I sucked them up like a sponge and squeezed them out again. It's so easy to lose sight of what's important. I spend much more time floundering in other people's muck than I do living as myself. And that breaks my heart. It also makes me absolutely furious, and then I eat my anger and it makes me ill. How does one learn to rise above the discontent and false limits around them? The truth of the matter is that I can do whatever I want. I can. Why do I have so much trouble remembering that? The other night I realized why I enjoy smoking pot so much. The joy I feel doesn't come from the plant. It comes from living as myself. I realized that when I smoke, I stop judging myself. For a few hours, my inner judge (who happens to be impossibly harsh), just disappears. And I do what I'm feeling. I live as the love that I am. And that's what feels so good. It's the only time I ever relax. It's so exhausting to be under constant and severe stress. But when I smoke, I emerge from that toxic sludge and I feel what it is to be truly alive. I ALLOW myself to be truly alive. It's amazing that the biggest part of me is a part that wants to keep me in ruin and misery. That also breaks my heart. I wasn't always like that. I've absorbed so many terrible things that I've come to believe that I'm something that doesn't deserve to be alive. When I was very young, maybe four or five, I was so free. I was so smart and quick and brave. Not too long after that was the first time someone stole a part of me. And I never got it back. I began to believe that that was life, that was normal, and so it happened to me over and over until the roaring flame inside of me shrunk to an occasional flicker. Just enough not to die out completely. And what grew in its place was The Oppressor. That terrible false identity that makes sure my flame can't burn bright. When the flame does start to grow into a size close to healthy, The Oppressor stomps it out. That's the amnesia. That cruel thing living inside my mind (it most certainly isn't me) is what makes me forget that I can be free. And if I'm cut off from the people that know this about me, can see when it's happening and check The Oppressor, it overtakes me. That's how I end up an intelligent girl who is no longer capable of driving more than a few miles from her house. Who sits inside all day, wishing she could feel something, experience what it is to be alive, but not having the strength to do so. A talented waste. The Oppressor began as The Protector. A way to keep myself sane. Someone to protect me from the thoughts that would lead my mind to remembering things it couldn't handle remembering. To build walls between other people and myself, to protect myself from predators. And it did that. But it grew into something no longer recognizable as The Protector. It doesn't work for me anymore. It works against me.

I want the strength to get out of this mess. To release The Oppressor, knowing I don't need it anymore.

3 injured cats in the road.| Take it to the vet.

Help? [01 Feb 2007|03:51pm]




2 injured cats in the road.| Take it to the vet.

Changing my journal to friends only. [19 Sep 2005|10:10pm]

Comment To View Journal.

I made my journal Friends Only. Comment if you want to read it.
13 injured cats in the road.| Take it to the vet.

[ viewing | most recent entries ]